The Parisian and tattoos

The Parisian

I don’t think I waited long past my 18th birthday when I got my first tattoo. And I was so eager I didn’t even care what it was. I remember going to the shop and picking something off their wall. And it was a small mediocre fairy I got on my lower stomach. Even the tattoo artist warned me, said it would be forever and tried urging me not to be impulsive. But that’s such a big part of who I am: I want to make impulsive and rash decisions before anyone has a chance to stop me. I don’t want anyone else’s doubts causing me to question my self and my own decisions, no matter how spontaneous they are. I thrive on instinct. I would rather make the potential mistake than be talked out of it, which means I will often become even MORE impulsive in my simple effort to do something quickly before anyone else finds out and has a chance to influence my decision. A lot of big choices in my life have been made with this approach. I have been married twice; neither was planned more than a few days in advance and both were done mostly in secret (the first was a quickie wedding in a Vegas strip mall and the second was at the Denver courthouse). But while my first husband was much more of a planner, much more cautious—Mike, my second husband can be just as impulsive as I am which means so much of our life together has been lived quite spontaneously: buying and renovating an RV and then turning it into an AirBnB, having a baby, buying a home, leaving Colorado and moving to OK when neither of us has ever even visited this state before, starting this little business and then applying to expos and festivals all over the country (which has become our saving grace after being laid off from corporate America twice in 2 years). None of those things happened with much planning.

My first tattoo

I actually read a study 3 or 4 years ago that found that all the energy, time and effort that many put into planning and agonizing and overthinking big decisions isn't really proven to yield better results or a happier life: that essentially, all it does is give us the illusion of control over our lives and that no matter how much we stress over a decision, big or small, there is always a 50/50 chance of it working in our favor. It was incredibly validating.

Also, that tattoo artist was wrong, my friends. A little over a decade later I would commission a beautiful piece of art from one of my favorite artists to finally cover up that damn fairy.

Nothing is forever. Not even tattoos.

P.S. Strangely, I plan out much more of the non-life altering decisions in my life. Like, I may have a casual night out planned 6 months in advance. Don’t ask me what that’s about.